Ok so today I’m really obsessed with getting this blog off the ground… AND tackling this debt. So I went into my filing cabinet (really more a box) and found an old journal.  While going through it I found a note from my sister, who said I should treat my finances as a business and I’m the CEO.  Yep, making decisions about everything!  So I guess that makes me the CFO also. Every company must account for everything.

As a Project Manager I’m very good at planning projects, meeting deadlines and most importantly budgeting for those projects.  Once I even had a job as an Administration Manager responsible for forecasting budgets, and accounts payables and receivables.  I was very good at it and loved it.  Its about time Nuffy Ltd hired a CFO – and who better but ME!

Yes, I’ll be preparing and posting a spending record, forecast budget, followed by an actual budget, a cheque expenditure plan every two weeks, a list of all my debts and any plans to eliminate that debt.




Being Positive in a Difficult Situation

Being in such financial despair I’ve been researching a lot about how to change my life.  All the information I’ve come across tells me it has to do with choosing to be happy, setting my intention everyday and having gratitude. Every successful person I’ve read about tells you they got there by setting some kind of intention in motion.

I will set my intention for freedom instead of this “jail” I’m living in everyday.  Missing tons of work, isolating myself, eating my despair away… and so many other behaviours that are negatively effecting my life. Biggest lately is I’ve been hating my job.  It’s not so much the job as the work environment. I better set an intention for that too, as I’m positive someone else would love a government job earning $70,000 a year.  You can see I’ve been letting my finances effect all aspects of my life, controlling my moods, feelings and sucking the joy out of my life long enough.  I’m done flying by the seat of my pants!

Every morning I’m going to set my intention for the day:

I choose to be happy, I choose to not go into debt anymore.

Lately, to get pepped up for the day I listen  to uplifting, happy music on my way to work that reminds me to be happy, such as “I Can See Clearly” by Johnny Nash, “Firework” by Katy Perry. I even like to listen to Christian Rock.

I’m happy now writing about this.



My biggest financial gremlins:

$18,000 for a car that was repossessed at a rate of 34%, haven’t paid yet.

$10,000 for a $3,000 loan at 34%.  $350 is currently being garnished from my paycheque every two weeks

$10,000 loan at 8%.  This was for a car that was written off back in 2009.  I owed more than I was reimbursed by insurance.



I decided to start writing about my money troubles as an outlet for my shame, and angst as I feel like I’m going to explode continuing to hide my dirty little secret.  I can’t be the only one out there in a financial disaster, can I?

My life is pretty good at 50, I’m healthy, have a great family, and have a great paying job. However money’s always been a struggle. I just can’t seem to get it together no matter what I try. I have ADHD and it’s always been difficult for me to keep anything organized especially money. Really, keeping a house clean and my financial house clean two VERY different things. I can’t seem to control impulsivity and many times I jump into things cus I just don’t know how to say no and feel obligated….like the time I took my perfectly fine car in for repairs and walked out with one I couldn’t afford. I’ll explain that in another post.

So, I vow today to start my financial independence to get to a credit rating of 670. I choose 670 because that means I can get a mortgage? Lets see how long it takes me.

In this blog I’m going to let it all hang out. Posting all my bills, amounts, interest rates. I sent away for my credit rating and will even post that. I will share my expenses, income etc…. Follow me in my journey. Who knows, maybe I can even help you to feel free. We are not our bank account or credit rating.

P.S. Just writing this has alleviated some anxiety already.